Memories
by Alqualyne
Summary: -finished- A one-shot ET fic. Includes lyrics from Coldplay. Eriol and Tomoyo, after breaking up, struggle to contain their memories of each other as they try to make sense of their lives. They both reach the same conclusion...


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Cardcaptor Sakura, or the Coldplay lyrics from the song "The Scientist".

**Memories**

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_

_You don't know how lovely you are_

_I had to find you, tell you I need you_

_And tell you I set you apart_

Eriol laid back, staring at the stars. It was such a pleasant May night, warm with the hint of flowers on the slight breeze. Shakespeare's The Tempest lay unopened next to him. He had intended to come up to the roof for the sole purpose of reading, but the sight of the stars and his thoughts had led him down a path he did not wish to take. Unbidden, memories rushed into his mind faster than he could make them leave. Stop! He cried out silently. His thoughts couldn't be controlled though, however deep his anguish might be. It was a feeling Hiiragizawa Eriol was not used to, and it cut sharp. 

_Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions_

_Oh let's go back to the start_

Tomoyo sat in the backseat, watching the raindrops run their race on the window. Little drops merged with big drops, and melded together. Then they left their little tracks of water behind, which in turn became travelers of their own or got picked up by a bigger one. It was their choice, Tomoyo surmised. Yet when they reached the end of the window they all joined together and rolled off, so did it really matter? 

          Deliberately, Tomoyo rolled down the window, letting the combination of wind and rain hit her face, and obliverating the raindrops' race across the window. She didn't want to think of meaningful things like that now. It reminded her too much of times she didn't need reminders of. 

          Like the expert she was at it, Tomoyo stopped her train of thought and reverted it to more mundane things.

          _Running in circles, coming in tails_

_          Heads on a science apart_

_          Nobody said it was easy_

          He watched silently, fingernails clenched in his palm as memories rushed, lingered, and made an impression on his mind. They were walking along a path, her hair shining in the muted sunlight. There they were in the park, reminiscing and laughing about a prank. And there she stood, her hand clasped in his, watching the stars together. Spinning so quickly while tilting her head at the sky that she fell into his arms, so warm and soft. The feel of her fragile skin, the sound of her voice… he was breathing raggedly now, remembering too much of what both had agreed to forget. 

          It was better this way, he reminded himself. Their situation could never had worked in the long run. They came from two different backgrounds, cultures, societies, and worlds. They had been wise to choose what they did. Wise…

          Eriol gazed up at the stars again. But where in this cosmos did wisdom ever override love?

          _It's such a shame for us to part_

_          Nobody said it was easy_

_          No one ever said it would be this hard_

_          Oh take me back to the start_

          Stepping out into the rain, Tomoyo looked up at the stone sky. She never used to like days like these, so cold and blustery. Now she took solace in them, feeling that the day gave an accurate reflection of her soul. She didn't shiver from the cold anymore, she instead let the goosebumps run up and down her skin. It was a sort of mental test, seeing how much she could stop from feeling. 

          Something in Tomoyo's mind today, though, rebelled. Why shouldn't she? Why couldn't she? Her heart was tired of obeying her mind. She wanted to be warm again.

          Going inside, she turned up the heater and snuggled in a blanket. She had rebelled against the indifference that had seeped into her being. Yet she was still cold; there was something in her that could not be warmed physically. She needed the gaze of a pair of deep blue eyes to melt that recess, looking at her in a way that was meant only for her.

          _I was just guessing at numbers and figures_

_          Pulling the puzzles apart_

_          Questions of science, science and progress_

_          Do not speak as loud as my heart_

          I need you! Eriol almost screamed. The memories had slowed, but the ache had only grown deeper. He was tortured by memory; no, he was tortured by the realization that there would be no more memories. No. He didn't want that. He had never wanted that. 

          With a surge of resolve, he scrambled to his feet and went inside, only looking back once at the sky to quickly wish on a star.

          _And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me_

_          Oh and I rush to the start_

_          Running in circles, chasing tails_

_          Coming back as we are_

_          Nobody said it was easy_

          Oh it's such a shame for us to part 

          Tomoyo remembered all to willingly. She couldn't leave herself to become a ghost of memories. She didn't want to be a maiden of rain and gloom. But over that all was the longing to hear a familiar voice again. It was not a temptation; it was a force, and it compelled her. Heart racing, she reached. 

          _Nobody said it was easy_

_          No one ever said it would be so hard_

They both picked up the phone. Separated physically, the didn't want to be separated mentally ever again. Because without each other, they could never reach the stars. 

_I'm going back to the start._

**_-Alqualyne_**


End file.
